The importance of a friend (part 2)

How many of you remember, I would say, about three weeks, almost a month ago, that I began to talk to you about friendship, the importance of having good friends. How many remember that? Let me see. Do they remember? Okay. Those who don't, well, brief summary.

I talked about friendship. And the way I talked about friendship was God put a concern in my heart, to be able to talk about that topic because I would say, that perhaps, in the last 3, 4 months I have been in conversations with different people from here. from the church, that for some reason or another, that aspect of the need that we have to be able to have genuine friendships has arisen. In other words, people you can count on, people you can laugh with, people you can blow off steam with, people you can go out and walk with and enjoy an afternoon of games, or people who can confront you in all confidence, knowing that it is not that they are criticizing us but that they are doing it to build our lives.

They are things that are in us. I remember that the first time I spoke, I was saying that this is part of the nature of God in us, it is part of that image of God that is in us, that is in you. It is that need to be able to have contact, relationship, connection with other people around you. and many of us have those contacts through our families, whether you have it through your husband, your wife, your father, your mother, your son, your daughter, your uncle, your grandmother, whoever it is. We have those relationships but there is also that need to connect with other people.

When we talk about the circle of brothers and sisters in the church, but still within this circle are those other circles of intimacy that... you already have your friend, the one you dare call at midnight and you know what's going on for you to answer the phone and they will be able to talk. Maybe after I tell you two or three, what are you calling at this time? But you know what? After a while he wakes up and talks to you or else makes an appointment for the next day and first thing in the morning he sits down with you for coffee.

Those are the kinds of friendships we were talking about. Another thing I also said is that not everything, that is, not everyone can expect to be a 100 bill for everyone, not all friendships are the same. There are different levels of friendship. I can't wait to be friends with everyone here and at a level of intimacy that I can, so to speak, tell my whole story. I know that I am going to have those spaces, that dynamic with different people and I said that this happens with Jesus.

In other words, Jesus himself had his different circles of friends with his disciples. He had 12 disciples, but within those 12 he had 3 that the Bible specifies with whom he went to pray with them. And I had a greater intimacy with those three people. And within those three people, there was only one that Jesus allowed him to lay his head on his chest. At that level of intimacy they lived.

So there are those dynamics there in those friendship relationships. Another thing that I also said that I'm going to see if I can recap at this point, which is when I was talking about the love that exists between a friendship relationship that many times these friendships have their conditions. I don't know how many of you remember that on Sunday, after I spoke about it, I preached in a part of my sermon that love is often romanticized a lot, saying that all kinds of love are unconditional. But then, I go out and say that it also has that dynamic that it is conditional.

And I kind of, after I checked the message, I was like, wow, I should have clarified this a little more, because it sounded like I was saying it's one or the other. But it's not that, it's a combination of both. It is as much one as the other. It's not either or but it's both and.

In other words, the love that we experience both from God, and the love that we can have with other people, is both unconditional and conditional. It was saying about God's unconditional love because God's love is unconditional and there is proof in Scripture that it is so.

As the Scripture says, even when we were sinners, Christ died for us. I mean, there you see that unconditional love of God. God receives us just as we are. There you see that unconditional love of God. But then, once we accept that love, and it's very funny, well, not funny, but it's interesting because at one point I started to think about salvation and we can also say that salvation is unconditional in the sense that salvation is by grace, not by works.

But even for your power to have salvation you have the condition that if you don't confess it, if you don't receive it, then you won't have it. So one and the other, it's not one or the other, but it's both working together. And in light of that, well, I continued to elaborate this theme of friendship, of how this dynamic is in which all of us have to dance this game of how much I give, how much I don't give, how much I receive, how much I don't receive.

And today, well, as I prepared myself for the second part, well, I'm throwing myself now on this side of what that dynamic of interpersonal relationships is like. And I came across a book that I had read a long time ago, but I came across it again recently and I went back to it and the title of the book was the one that stood out. The title is from an author named John Orburn, he is an American man, he is a pastor in California and he wrote a book that in English is titled “Everybody is normal till you get to know them”. In Spanish one would say “We are all normal until they know us”.

Can I tell you again? Let's see if it makes sense? We are all normal until they meet us. They can laugh, because it is intended so that they can laugh. Napoleon, you are normal until I really know you. Orlando, you are normal until I really know you. I am going to be normal for you until you know me for real.

And this is where the dynamic comes in. This author mentions two points in particular that come with this topic. And the first, he is doing an illustration, for example, in stores when you go to the Clearance section, for example, whether it's a furniture or clothing store or things like that, you know that most of the time That clothing, or merchandise, we are going to talk about furniture merchandise, when you go to the Clearance section, that they have it like this, that it has the price, it also has a tag, a ticket that says as it is, or as it . In other words, the instrument or whatever it is, they sell it to you as it is. I mean, you can't go and complain after you bought it, oh, look, it had a scratch on the side or something. Ah, that was sold as is. You are going to buy it as it is. Or see that I had a loose screw and see if I can return it. Sorry, you bought it as is. Look, I opened the drawer and it fell out... sorry, he bought it as it is. Exactly, there is no return in that.

And the point is that this author is comparing that we as human beings come with that tag that says, as is, just as it is. I'm amused because Orlando, right now, excuse me for taking you too far, Orlando, he had his birthday yesterday so that's why I'm taking him too far. Since it was her birthday yesterday, today she arrived wearing this new sweater that still had the tag on it. So for me that was some confirmation, that what I had to talk about was the right thing. And I was in clearance.

That for me was confirmation that I had to talk about this. In other words, we as human beings come with that label that says, just as it is. You, if it is verified well, like this on the back, you are going to have to tell someone, look to see if I have a label there. And that person is going to say, look yes, you have it and the label is very big. Some the label is smaller for others the label is bigger.

But we all have that tag that is just the way it is. And that connects it to another point that is much deeper still. And this to me is something so revealing. I am sure that if I say it and you think about it, you will say, "Hey, it's true."

But this author connecting that point also said that when we proceed to meet a person for the first time, subconsciously in our mind there is a question that arises without us being able to control it. And it's the question that says, "Does that person like me or not?"

Ask yourself if when you meet someone for the first time, perhaps you don't remember yourself, but if you think about it, when you meet someone for the first time, that question pops up in your head: I Will that person like me? Will this person like me? Will this person want to establish some kind of contact with me? What should I do, so to speak, to like this person?

For me that was very revealing and much more when I'm thinking about this issue of friendship, because it's the same thing. When you ask yourself that question, that question will determine the way in which you are going to proceed in being able to meet and interact with that person or not. there are some that when they hear that question in their head, they are so, so intimidated that they decide not to proceed to connect. Because maybe the person is very busy, or they see it as very distant, or it seems that the person is not paying interest, well, fine, I'm not going to connect with that person. And I'm still here looking for some friendship somewhere else.

But there are other people whose character, even though they have that question, tells them, will that person like me or not? they throw themselves into an adventure and say, "Well, there's only one way to find out." Let's go and start getting to know this person and see if it works or not.

And that is where then what I was saying begins, that dynamic, that dance, like how much I give, how much I receive, how much they give me, so that I can give again. Look, I came across several biblical verses that in one way or another shed light on what I'm saying. And you can write it down so that you can read it later.

But one was the one that I read the first time, which is Proverbs, Chapter 17, verse 17, which says:

"... A friend loves at all times and is like a brother in time of anguish, a friend loves at all times and is like a brother in time of anguish..."

And he's obviously talking about what a friend describes, that is, that level of intimacy, that level of depth that no matter what the circumstances, he's always there ready for.

Another verse, in Proverbs Chapter 18, verse 24, says:

"... There are friends who lead to ruin ─ and I'm reading from the new international version, because the Reina Valera, like the way I read it, I didn't like it and I looked for it in another version and it says like this: ─ ... There are friends who lead to ruin and there are friends more faithful than a brother…”

Look at this, how interesting. We can have friends that we consider friends, but their end is like, they make life impossible for us, but there are also those friends who can have a level of intimacy that is as if it were, as a saying goes out there in English that says: my brother from another mother; my brother from another mother, so to speak, because there is that affinity.

Another proverb, Proverbs, Chapter 27, verse 10, look, I liked this one, it says:

"... Do not abandon your friend or your father's friend... ─ Look at this, how interesting, because he is already talking about a friendship that transcends generations and continues saying ─ ... Do not go to your brother's house when you have a problem because it is better a close neighbor than a distant brother…”

That spoke a lot to me because obviously I have all my blood family there, in Puerto Rico, so if I have a problem or something that is going to be cheaper, pay for a ticket to go to Puerto Rico and let off steam with mommy over there, or having a friend here near me that I can, perhaps, spend 50 cents worth of gasoline to go from one corner to another and sit down and talk to him. Obviously the second is the answer.

But what he's saying is that he's talking about this dynamic of what a friend can do for you, how it inspires your life, and even when I see that first sentence that he says, don't abandon your friend or your father's friend. , that is, when it already puts it at that level.

Look, if I think about my father's friends, I didn't know many of them, but at least some of the people he related to, what this means is that yes, I have a friend who can be contemporary of me, but there are also those people who go a little further than me, that I know I can hold on to, count on, receive a sense of wisdom and direction from them as well.

In other words, friendship is not something that is only here at my level, but also goes a little further. The last verse that I am going to read to you, Ecclesiastes and this I know you know, Chapter 4, verses 9 and 10, says:

"...Two are better than one because they have better pay for their work because if they fall, one will lift his partner, but woe to the only one, when he falls there will not be a second who can lift him..."

Do you need an illustration with this? Look at verse 11 it says:

“…Also if two sleep together they will warm each other…”

They obviously use this a lot for couples, but recently I was watching this program on television, I don't know if you've seen it, a program called I shouldn't be alive, I shouldn't be alive? On the Animal Planet channel, I was watching an episode about two guys who got lost on a hike they were doing up a mountain and fell into a snow storm and stuff like that and they were talking about one of the things that allowed them to survive, was that the two got into a sleeping bag to warm each other.

And I remember that I saw that in a movie and it looked like half, why, two men stuffed into a sleeping bag, but when I saw it in real life how... this is very interesting, my brothers, because this is scientifically proven . There is a very big difference trying to warm up, as they say, with your clothes on, but it is very different to warm up when you are in skin-to-skin contact. and obviously I don't want them to go too far beyond what they should think. But it has been scientifically proven that in such an emergency situation, that if two people get lost in the desert of snow, the best way for these people to survive is to warm up skin to skin, because clothing, at getting wet, or getting too cold does drain the heat from your body even faster.

So the only way for them to stay warm is skin to skin. Okay, don't imagine how it is but...

"... Also if two sleep together they will warm each other more than one alone will warm... ─ and this is where the other part is ─ ... and if one prevails against another, two will resist him and the three-fold cord is not easily broken... "

So you saw, my brothers, this idea of being able to work on friendships, my brothers, is of the utmost importance. So when you are in that process of, whether it is establishing new friendships, whether it is with people inside the church or outside the church, as you decide to do, you have to know that these questions are in your head.

First of all you have a tag that says, as it is, you come with that tag and the other person comes with that tag. And at the same time, you're going to be thinking, will this person like me? That other person is going to be thinking of you, will that person like me? Some will say, I don't even care, but those are the ones who have the least friends, so to speak.

But when you are in this process and I encourage you to enter this process, especially when we are talking about the family of faith, look at what I am going to tell you, so that you take this into account. Any friendship that one establishes will always carry with it a level of risk. Any friendship that one establishes will always carry with it a level of risk. I explain.

Risk that perhaps a friend could hurt us or misunderstand us. And I imagine that most of all of us have experienced at some point or another in our lives, that maybe you proceeded with a friendship with the best of intentions, but the other person maybe was not clear-headed or in the right place, in the perfect place, and what you did or what you said was misinterpreted and turned against you.

Or maybe you had a friendship that had been going on for years and suddenly, when you least expected it, that person plunges a knife into your back, so to speak, and that can damage and destroy you that sometimes you even end up saying Why have friends?

But they are risks that one has to take. But just as I say that, there is also this dynamic of the risks that that friend can confront us to live beyond our comforts, or according to the values that we decide to live. Did I explain myself there? There is that risk that a person, or that friend or that friend, confronts you beyond your comfort level, within that friendship relationship, or that you are confronted with the fact that you can live according to the values that you say you you live, that you are governed by them.

Look at an example, very biblical, you can go with me to the book of Job. Job had three friends, and they are not the three friends in the movie. Job had three friends, you remember the story, right? When Satan, verse 7 in Chapter 2, says:

“…Then Satan came out from the presence of the LORD and smote Job with a vicious scab from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head…”

That is where the unfolding of this story begins. But look at verse 11, there in Chapter 2, it says:

"... And three of Job's friends, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar, after hearing all this evil that had befallen him, each came from his place, because they had agreed to come together to condole and comfort him..."

Look how interesting, these three men from the places where they lived, when they found out about everything that was happening with Job and his family, they called each other, look, let's go to Job's house to cheer him up. They went and look how they did:

“…Who, looking up from afar, did not recognize him and wept loudly and each of them tore his cloak and the three scattered dust on their heads towards heaven and so they sat with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights , and no one spoke to him because they saw that his pain was very great…”

Look at this how interesting, my brothers. That seemed so interesting to me because we are very quick to want to solve our friends' problems, right? We are very quick, like they come and they start talking to us and maybe what they want is to vent and we don't even let them finish talking and we quickly start to yes, yes, yes, I've been through that and this is what I did and we start to tell him or her our story and we don't let him or her finish telling his or her story.

And it seemed so particular to me that when these three men approached Job, one of us would have been Hispanic, we would have gone quickly, look, I bring you this remedy from my mother, oil with vinegar and salt so that you can clean all the sores and heal. Or else, look, go and get into the beach seven times on your back and your scabies will be cured. Or who knows we would have started saying a lot of barbaric things.

But the thing is that when these three men saw their friend like this, so distressed, they identified with him, mourned and stayed there. You imagine what it is like seven days and seven nights in front of your friend without saying a word. Or I know what it feels like. What do you know, you have scabies, you have had scabies in your life, right?

Look, how interesting verse 8 says:

"... And Job took a potsherd to scratch himself with it..."

Can you visualize that? I imagine that this pot was very large and as if I can be a little visual, I don't know if the cameras arrive like that, so that it is not seen on the internet, but it is like… scratching the wall like that. He is desperate like that, not Job, I understand you. That? Go, scratch yourself on the wall to see if you understand me or not.

They stayed there, static, they only began to identify with their friend's need, before saying a word. But obviously since they were friends, they were scholars, they had to say something. In Chapter 4 Eliphaz begins to speak to him and look how he begins to tell him, look how interesting, and this is where I see the dynamics of human nature, because we know how we know history, we know that this story of Job was a conspiracy god what happened. This was a barter between God and the devil who decided, as if to say, ok, do you want to test one of my children? Well, there you have Job. It's like, wow, but God you sold him there, as they say, you threw poor Job to the slaughterhouse. And God, I know what I'm saying.

You want to do something? Go ahead. And beyond that divine chaos, well, all this dynamic came here. And then what I see is Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar trying to interpret what was happening to Job and trying to encourage him to the best of his ability. Look what Eliphaz tells him in Chapter 4:

“…If we try to talk to you, it will bother you…”

In other words, if we try to tell you something, you're going to get upset.

“… but who can stop the words? Behold, you taught many ─ they are saying to Job ─ you taught many and strengthened the hands of the weak, whoever stumbled, your words straightened, and strengthened the knees of those who fell, more so now that evil has come upon you you get discouraged and when it has reached you, you get upset. Hey, isn't your fear of God your trust? The integrity of your ways is not your hope. Hey, think about it now…”

Look how Elifaz began to encourage, trying to encourage Job and one reads those words and it's like a little rough, it's like man, I'd rather keep scratching myself against the wall than you say these words to me. But it was Eliphaz's way, like trying to cheer up his friend.

Look further on, Bildad, in Chapter 8 he also starts giving him all this withdrawal of words, and then in Chapter 9, Job responds once more. After him, in Chapter 11, Zofar also comes with all other withdrawn words, even accusing him that what was happening to him was his fault, because he was in sin. And how many times have we had friends tell us that. Ah, what is happening to you is because you are in sin, or well, maybe they are not so rough, but you know, they come to say it in a more holy, more spiritual way. And he says, hey, have you not considered that perhaps what is happening to you is because you are in a hidden sin that nobody knows about? You can tell me, if you have a gossip to tell, I am your friend, you can tell me.

But the point is that when I see this story, I see these three people who had a connection with this man of God, the three, the four were men of God and in their way they were looking for how to interpret what was happening. But they decided to give that encouragement.

Look, they took the risk of talking to each other outside of their comfort zone, but what it caused was a stronger relationship in the end. And those are the friends that one really has to learn to value and look for, the people who dare to tell you the truth to your face, with a lot of love, with a lot of affection, with a lot of respect, but if you're doing something they tell you, and vice versa, if he is also doing something you also tell him or her.

And that, if it is a healthy, genuine friendship, can overcome those difficulties, and in the end it ends up being an even more solid friendship. No one likes it, because you don't want to have that kind of upset with a person you appreciate so much, but at the same time those moments are also necessary.

Look, if I tell you that Jesus himself had his risks when he decided to relate to the disciples, wouldn't one deny it? And the other sold it? Listen to me and with everything, think about this, with everything that Jesus knew he was going to sell, he took him as one of his disciples. Obviously there is this divine mystery that is to fulfill what the Scriptures say, but he did it as you want. He decided to put it in the privacy of his life and we already know how the story unfolded. I hadn't realized the time.

To be continued. Look, based on this question I'm going to finish this, I promise you, three minutes. Give me three minutes. Having said this, I ask this question: Who should I be friends with then? Or who should be my friend?

We have all heard that saying that says, tell me who you're with and I'll tell you who you are. TRUE? We have heard it. That's a biblical saying, right? Or not? or that is from the neighborhood. That's from the book of Omar, Chapter 6, verse 32, Omar my great-great-grandfather, wherever he is. But look at that saying, it says look who you're with and I'll tell you who you are.

You know that this happened to Jesus. Matthew, Chapter 11, look at this story. Matthew, Chapter 11 in verse 16 says, Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees, he says:

“…What can I compare this generation to…”

You are like the children sitting in the square who yell at the others, hey, look, I played the flute for you but you didn't dance, so we sang for the dead, but you didn't cry. And Jesus tells him,

“…But look, because John came not eating or drinking and you say to him, ah, this man has one more demon now the son of man, because he eats and drinks, you say that he is a glutton, a drunkard and a friend of publicans and tax collectors. He is a friend of sinners…”

Here you can literally see that Jesus is saying, like, ok, either you comb your hair or you do rolls. Or am I or am I not? You are telling me that because I sit down to eat with a plunder, or because I visit a levi at his house and share dinner with them, because I let a supposed harlot bathe my feet with perfume, then you are telling me that I am a friend of sinners .

Isn't that the saying that says, tell me who you're with and I'll tell you who you are. That's where that saying came from. It is not from the fields there, from Puerto Rico or Santo Domingo, it came from there. But it is the vision of the Pharisees and that is what he is saying, ah, ah, not so. I know whose friend I am. I know who I am.

And I believe, my brothers, that we too, when I see this example of Jesus, I start to think, look, one has to evaluate. Yes, there is a truth in that saying, because I verified it, I know that many of us have verified it, how many of us did not have a seal that later, after all, we realized that ok, this seal is not appropriate. and one has to make adjustments.

But at the same time, seeing this dynamic of Jesus, obviously I am not going to have the time to give justice to what I have just read. But I want you to think about this, my brothers. I know that God calls us to be light in the midst of darkness and yes, we do have to have those concentric circles of friendships that God wants us to have, intimate friendships with which one can vent, but also the Lord He calls us to be friends, and I say this with great caution, because I know that there is also that verse that we cannot be friends of the world and friends of God at the same time. But when one sees him from the perspective of being able to reach others like this story of Jesus, that is where we have to be able to learn to put ourselves in the appropriate thinking and feeling.

Now you can say to be continued. I'll leave them there for next time. So let's stand up. I am only throwing these messages at you so that you can think and meditate. You need friends, friends, but at the same time, you are someone's friend, you are someone's friend. And throughout that relationship you have to know how to distinguish that you are going to relate and connect with that person.

Do not wait as I was saying that you are going to fall like a 100 bill to everyone, my brothers, because it may not happen. For some you will be a hundred bill, for others it will be a one bill. But may God give you wisdom according to what I have just read now, may God give you wisdom, with whom you are going to comb your hair and who you are going to make out with.

The last part that I'm going to touch on, just to give you a Premium, is what it means to be a friend of God, because all of this that I'm talking about, I'm talking about at the horizontal level, but all of this is connected to that vertical level, so we can develop that friendship with God. The mere fact that Jesus identifies us as friends and not as servants, remember that passage from John Chapter 15, that is where I am going to summarize all these things again.

I want you to think about that, my brothers, there is a friendship relationship that defines us with God. There is that family connection and that is what nourishes us and informs us to know how to carry out our lives here and in the world in which we are, above all love God above all things and after your neighbor like yourself.

So, I have talked in part about that horizontal dimension, then we are going to talk about that vertical dimension, which is where all things mesh. So let's go home with that.

Lord, I thank you for the opportunity to reflect here on your word, Lord, and see the life that emanates from it, how it illuminates us to know how to carry out our lives.

Lord, I ask that you direct us in this dynamic of how to develop genuine, sincere, healthy friendships, and that at the same time this makes us a friendly church, Lord, a church where the foreigner, where the one who does not know, Lord, I can come here and feel that atmosphere of friendship, of brotherhood, Lord, how you want us to be able to transmit that to others.

Lord, I pray for each one of my brothers and sisters that as we prepare to leave here today, that you be with us, that you carry us safely to our homes, Lord, and that throughout the night, your spirit continues to disturb ours, Lord, to seek you, to get closer to you.

I ask you to give us a peaceful, restful sleep, to repair the strength and energy of our body so that tomorrow if you allow it, we can get up and grab a new day, Lord. Give us all your blessing, Lord, take us safely to our homes, we ask it in the name of Jesus. Amen. Amen.

Thanks God. Brothers, may the Lord