The leader of character (Part 3)

The character and qualities of a leader, a mature, mature leader. We have said a definition of character is the inherent qualities that define our relationship with ourselves and with others. We have said that there are 6 areas of character that are like families of different qualities that we have divided that vast subject that is the character of a mature leader. We have divided those sections into personal virtues, relationships with others, the area of self-control, the fourth area, ego control, fifth area, teamwork and finally the ability to be teachable, which also sometimes has to do with This accepting criticism.

So these are the areas that we've been discussing. We have said that the Bible greatly emphasizes the importance of character. The last time we met in session, I read a passage of Scripture that pointed out the importance of elders, bishops, being people of an admirable character, a mature character, and for example, I can give you one more quote that It is found this time in Second Timothy, Chapter 3 beginning with verse 23 and, in fact, we could even begin in verse 21 of Second Timothy, Chapter 3, it says:

“…. So if someone cleanses himself of these things… – speaking of those negative qualities that many times exist in the human being, - ….if someone cleanses himself of these things he will be an instrument for honor, sanctified, useful to the Lord and ready for all good construction site…."

They see there that the call to the Christian leader is to always be polishing, improving, overcoming, leaving behind the things that were as a child, as the Apostle Paul says, the immaturities, the imperfections of character and going towards maturity, towards perfection in Jesus Christ. So the Apostle Paul says that if one can be cleansed of those things, of those thicker, more difficult character imperfections, then one will be available to be used by the Lord. The opposite is also true, that if one retains those negative qualities and does not change them, and one does not improve oneself, one does not make efforts to go further and be more like Christ, one will remain stuck in their Christian growth and also in their leadership performance and God will not be able to use one as he would like to use us.

So the advice that Paul gives Timothy is, "... flee also from youthful passions and follow justice, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart..."

There is the positive alternative: leave the imperfect things, the things that are harmful to the Christian character and adopt a mature position, justice, faith, love, peace. And then the Apostle Paul adds:

"... but throw away foolish and senseless questions knowing that they breed strife..."

In other words, don't get into feuds and fights and futile discussions about flying saucers and who Cain married and whether he married Eve or how the other members of the human race came to be, etc., which are questions that in reality it has no solution in the last instance, because we do not have the answer but stay in the things that, take advantage of the things that lead to a mature life in the spirit.

So here comes the most important thing, the clearest thing about character. I am pointing out through this small section the importance that the Scriptures give time and again to the matter of character and that it is not only a matter of knowledge, physical strength, academic pedigree, none of those things that we often look for in the leaders. In Christian life it is a matter of character, conviction, attitude, like that of Christ.

Then he says, "... because the servant of the Lord should not be contentious but kind to everyone..."

Go? Character “…. Apt to teach,…..” that is, capable of teaching others with patience, with love, with meekness, “….suffering…” means, patient, “…that with meekness corrects those who oppose in case perhaps God grant them to repent to know the truth…”

In other words, they have to be patient. If a leader is out there willing to cut off the head of anyone who made a mistake, who criticized him, who committed an injustice against him or her, he is not good enough to be a leader. You have to have a long fuse, here comes the patience of which we spoke previously.

“…. And escape from the devil's snare in which you are captive at his will..."

Come? Again the importance, character. When Paul is writing to Timothy about how he should behave as a pastor and what kind of leaders he should choose for his pastoral, ministerial, and leadership team, the first thing he notes is the character of those people. It is one of the things that we always have to understand as leaders. Saying to the Lord, Father, help me to polish myself in the light of the Holy Spirit, help me to improve every day, to leave the things of a boy or a girl. Enlighten me, as we said in Psalm 139: examine me, O God, and see if there is a path of perversity in me and guide me along the eternal path.

So, that element that the Christian leader must always be looking to improve herself, to improve in terms of her character because this is key to the development of a healthy and powerful leadership.

So we have discussed the virtues, that first family of qualities of a leader, we talked about integrity, the importance of integrity; we talk about sobriety, second. In third place within the virtues we talk about humility. The fourth characteristic within the virtues is to be transparent, transparency. Fifth characteristic knowing oneself and all these things, by the way, are on the Internet, in case you want to review them, the previous lessons. Fifth, he knows himself. Sixth quality, within the quality of virtues, within the family of virtues, observing your environment, we have said. Observe the context, the environment in which one is moving.

That ability to be attentive to what is happening around one to learn and obtain information that helps one to behave appropriately within the environment in which one is moving, be it the general environment of the ministry in which one moves or a situation in which one is intervening, as right now I have to be attentive to you and your expressions, your body language and other things, they tell me some things about what is happening and then I sometimes adapt my presentation to that type of dynamic. If I see you, as I say, that someone falls out of a chair and snores on the floor, well, that tells me that I have to do something, dance in front of you or look for a hat and do one of those dances. show or whatever, to liven things up a bit or close the class prematurely. The fact is that observing the environment, the sixth quality.

The seventh quality that we haven't discussed and I'm going to get into that now, the seventh new quality is, within the virtues, we're still in the first family, remember that, is to be tolerant of imperfection.

Wow, you wonder why that matters. Well, right there it is in what the Apostle Paul says in Second Timothy, Chapter 3, that he meekly correct those who oppose it in case perhaps God allows them to repent to know the truth. You have to have patience and a tolerance of imperfection.

The person who directs groups and directs people requires this quality because inevitably in work environments there will always be things that will not work, there will always be things in the ministry that will have to be patient and wait for them to improve with time.

I always talk about one of the qualities that a leader must have is a long-term vision, long-term vision. Looking at things from a long distance, not getting impatient because everything is not right at the moment, but always going for the best, that is important, and knowing where one wants to go, but in between that final mission where one wants to go and Currently, there is a path to go through and many times the current reality is not as flattering as the final vision that is pursued and that is where one has to have a degree of tolerance for imperfection.

For example, our church there are many things that still need to improve, many financial, administrative areas, our services and things that can be improved there, the different ministries that are carried out in different ways, and many other things, children's ministry, for example, there are many things there that can be improved, ministry of sound, praise.

Now, one knows where one wants to go and with the help of the Lord each day one improves and one tightens the screw a little more and more and one knows that it is a process, it is a process that takes time. Now, between that vision of excellence that one wants and today, as I said, there is a distance and one has to say, well, it will take 2, 3 years, 4 years, whatever, and it all depends on a series of factors. which must be considered as well. One goes towards the perfect but meanwhile one also learns to tolerate. If one gets impatient and begins to throw a dog around and cut off heads left and right and complain about people continuously, or there are leaders who are not capable of working.

I have seen them go from ministry to ministry through the years and they can never stay in one ministry because they don't know how to deal with imperfection. They have an idea of how things should be done, they are very good in their area, all by themselves, but when they have to work with eminently imperfect people they lose their minds and cannot and end up in conflict with others, frustrated or leaving, blaming people. And whoever wants to blame and criticize, brothers, there is a lot of material in any context. So it's important for a mature leader to be tolerant of imperfection.

And as I said, there will be a tension, there is a tension between the search for excellence that should be a quality of every ministry and every leader, and that tolerance. It's not like we're saying, well, ah, okay, that's how it is and that's how people will always be and we're not going to try to do anything to improve. No, that's a tension between those two things, one tightens little by little, one has to be aware of, for example, ok, what kind of community am I dealing with? If I'm dealing with an upper-middle-class community where 85% of the people are professionals and college-educated people who are already third-generation educated and professional, middle-class, well, sure, you can demand a tremendous amount of stuff and be very expectant of big improvements quickly. And one must demand that when one delegates there be an immediate execution because we are dealing with people with a very high level of functioning and performance in their secular and professional, personal lives.

But if you are dealing with a highly imperfect community, let's say the Latino community where many people are not educated, we are like First Corinthians, Chapter 1 or 2, my brothers, many of you are educated or important or this and the other , but that the weak of the world chose God to shame the strong, etc. Rather, that is the condition that we deal with in the Latino community, where there are many people who are learning to deal with and deal with in the ministry and even many who are professionals have not had the advantage of growing up in homes where they were taught about discipline, execution, excellence and have serious defects in their professional training inclusive. So that's where one has to have more patience and be tolerant of imperfection. Am I clear about that?

So I have already talked about the person in that area having a grandfather mentality, tolerant of imperfection and oh, okay, many things happen, we are going to be patient and look at things in the long term. You exercise patience when things don't work out to your liking or expectations. That is something else, sometimes things cannot be done the way I want, but you also have to know how to negotiate and postpone your personal preferences so that things can move forward.

This tolerant person seeks excellence but is not a perfectionist. That is the difference. There is a difference between being excellent and striving for excellence and being a perfectionist and those are two very different things. I add this person here, he is not in his notes, who is tolerant of imperfection, sees the totality of a matter and looks for practical solutions, not necessarily perfect ones, looks at the set of things, who am I dealing with, what is the level and the capacity of the people with whom I am dealing, what amount of authority do I have and if I say everything that is on my mind and half the group leaves, then I am left with no one and it is even worse, how sensitive are those people with whom I am working with critics, if I am paying them, obviously, look, if I don't fire you and look for someone else to pay, but if it is in a context of voluntarism where those who are working are volunteers, wow , then things also change.

So you have to take into account all those aspects that also have to do with observing the environment, knowing my context in which I am working and adjusting expectations to all those elements. So this is the area of being tolerant of imperfections.

Any brief comments or observations about what I just said about it? Please speak loudly, if you can, pass it on so that our friends on the Internet can hear that sometimes you don't hear very well.

¿: It's just that one of the things that I've realized at this point is where we sometimes fail in what it means to delegate, because obviously the ministries grow because people get involved, and the involved feel that they can appropriate the ministry, they appropriate of the task, but when there is a person who does not trust us to appropriate that task, then that is where we have to learn to delegate and those are the greatest things that I have realized that there are times, well, in the ministry where I am working is a challenge to have to say, look, I really have to trust that so-and-so is going to be able to do this job and if I don't delegate so-and-so it won't grow, and if he doesn't grow my ministry won't grow and I I don't grow either. So I think it's also something that goes with it.

That point is very correct, definitely the person who is not willing to tolerate imperfections and defects and that things are executed in an unexpected way or that was not to his preference, who does not delegate, and if he does not delegate, he will always have immature leaders. In other words, one has to be willing to pay the price of releasing responsibility to people and trusting that they are going to do something, and even if they are not one hundred percent, but next time they will do better. The alternative is to do it all, all the time, it suits you the way you want but you never develop leaders and are stuck in the same situation all the time. So it seems to me an excellent observation, whoever wants to develop leaders has to learn to be tolerant of imperfection as that community develops and reaches another level of performance.

So the last quality within that family that we call virtues, is a little subtle and it is about what I call empathic capacity, a Sunday word, empathic. Where does that word empathic come from? Can someone tell me? Empathy, which is not the same as sympathy, right? Can someone tell me what empathy means and speak loudly so they can hear me. Empathy is what? I am going to help you not to waste a lot of time, it is the ability to get in tune with the feelings or the situation of others, the ability to identify with others, feel what they feel, see things from their perspective, empathy, in english, empathy It comes from pathos which means in Greek it means passion, feeling, emotion.

Everyone say pathos. Ah, how well they were heard. Some experts in Greek we have here already. In Buddhism, for example in the Buddhist religion, they speak of compassion. It's a word that Buddhism emphasizes a lot, the ability to feel the pain of creation, the pain of others. As I say, he is a person who can put himself in the place of others, an empathic person sees things from the other's perspective. In Galatians, Chapter 6, verse 1, the Apostle Paul speaks of something similar, he says:

"... my brothers if someone is caught in a fault, you who are spiritual restore him with a spirit of meekness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted..."

In other words, when a person fails, falls into some kind of morally compromising situation or whatever, put yourself in their shoes in a sense and consider yourself from that person's perspective, what was going on in that person and try to figure it out. Examine yourself in light of that experience so that you don't treat her in a harsh, judgmental way, but can identify with her situation as well. And as you look at yourself in their situation you can exercise mercy and compassion for that individual, and then restore them with a spirit of meekness instead of kicking them while they're down because they failed.

So we see here some of that. The Lord Jesus Christ came into the world to identify himself with our pain. He knew what we were going through in a theoretical way because he is God and he understood, but he had not gone through it, he had not experienced it. The incarnation is the most outstanding empathic act that has taken place in the entire universe, where the Lord can now feel what we feel, identify with our pain, our temptations, our struggles, and effectively intercede for us because he was where we are. In other words, it was an act of extreme empathy.

Now, how do you think that quality of being able to put yourself in the place of others helps in leadership performance? Does anyone have an idea? How does putting yourself in other people's shoes help you to be an effective leader? Someone who has a great and absolutely amazing contribution. Yes, Sister Alba, please come to the microphone.

Alba: …… the example of our Lord Jesus as an intercessor, then he came as a major intercessor to show us what the way was like and how things were done, and that is what a leader is. A leader does not say do it, the leader says let's do it like this and he sets the example.

Ok, fine. That's very good. I think one of the things is, for me, empathy is essentially a pastoral quality. The pastor has to know or at least identify with what the person is going through in order to minister effectively. If one of your leaders did not arrive on time to the meeting or to carry out his position within the ministry and you simply tell him you were late, or you did not arrive and you will not be able to serve in the next three months, you are in discipline, or whatever , instead of listening to what is happening in this person, why he could not come, at least identify yourself. Do you live far away? Do you have transportation? Perhaps he had a family, marital problem. Perhaps he is depressed or depressed, what is happening in the person. That is a way, for example, in which you quickly understand what people are going through and try to see yourself in that person's place, or if they had a difficult childhood, or sometimes the person may have a conflict with you and your You ask yourself, well, I am the pastor, and why does that person have such a problem with me? Well, perhaps I remind you of your father and many people who have had problems with authority in your family and I know a person here who has told me, he has a problem with me and it is clear because he had very serious difficulties with his father, who abused from his mom and has problems with authority. And my pastoral figure causes him ambivalence and tension and he finds it difficult to relate to leaders in general. And one sees that this person continually has this difficulty.

And so being able to understand these things, tolerate people, try to work with them, is something very, very important that we have to cultivate because otherwise there will be situations in which we will not be able to shepherd the people we are directing. . That empathic capacity is well done, very important in the ministry. Otherwise one will be treating people only by their actions, by the external, what one sees, what one experiences with respect to them, but one is not entering their drama, in their journey of emotional, personal development, spiritual and then one cannot minister. So what you are doing is using people. If you can give me and if you can perform, if you can do what I need you to do in the ministry, well that's fine, but if you fail I'm not capable of trying to get in tune.

Now, again, there is a tension there. What is the tension? That one also has to demand from people because you have to push people. One cannot say, ah, I understand everything, it's okay, amen. You were late, ok, don't worry, etc. you did not come. No, again, there is tension.

¿... if empathy is related to pity because in social work, for example, serving people when they require some kind of help, be it emotional or material help, empathy works there with pity, because many people who help out of pity and not necessarily because they really understand the need of that person.

I think that, once again, the tension there is how to always respect people, not pity them but have compassion for them, which is different. I think compassion, or feeling compassion for the person. I believe that when we work with a broken and wounded and deficient community one has to mix the understanding of where that community or individual is with the call to go to another dimension. So one has to push people, I think one has to demand from people because many times broken people will manipulate you and they will even lie to you, because they are used to it, so they have survived. So one also has to mix compassion with, I would say, integrity and seriousness where one lets people know, you are not going to manipulate me, you are not going to control me, nor are you going to bribe me emotionally.

Now, I am going to understand where you are, I am going to be compassionate and merciful but I am also going to demand you. I am not going to treat you like garbage because then I am not respecting you or helping you, I am not going to tell you, ah, poor thing, he has no control over his life, he has no power to do anything. That is taking away his humanity. You have to treat people like adults, like human beings and that means that you have to demand them and know when they are lying and when they are controlling or manipulating you. But also at the same time treating them with love and mercy and maintaining a balance between those two things, there is a tension there, if I may explain. And it's the same, the Christian leader, the Christian leader, also has to let the people know, look, this is the definition of what a good deacon is, for example, and if not we are going to put pressure to try to improve every day more and more. There comes a time when perhaps you have to tell the person, look, it's better not to continue working or whatever, in the case, for example, that we have been talking about here.

That is, there is a balance. There has to be a balance but you definitely have to be able to put yourself in the situation of others. There is a pastoral element there and of course, that also presupposes, for one to be able to do that it presupposes something very important and it is emotional and spiritual strength on one's part, because if one is as needy as the people one is leading, one is not going to to have the spiritual, emotional, or moral reserves to be patient and merciful. Am I clear?

If a person is so emotionally broken, he will react with impatience, with criticism, with hurtful words, only when one has obtained spiritual strength through prayer, reading the word, a process of personal growth, a regular devotional life. , closeness to God, that is what gives us reserve to be able to exercise mercy on others. Because otherwise we are going to be as needy as they are and we are going to react in the same way that they would react. That is why it is so important that the leader, in order to be empathic, have a large enough spiritual reserve so that one can be, in a sense, slightly better or be higher morally, ethically than the person to whom one is ministering. I don't mean in the sense of being better than them spiritually, but being more capable than them, that's important.

Damaris: …… I think that an element that I see in the ……. it is respect as opposed to pity that is mixed with superiority. When one is empathic, one is respected. When you feel sorry for yourself, you think you're superior and......they can't differentiate that, then you know that you're going to help someone because you want to help them grow, not out of pity, because I feel more important or better than them. So I think that this is an element that one has to

The difference is in the element of respect. Empathy has respect for the person. Pity, I believe, has no respect, it does not show respect for the person, but rather depersonalizes, dehumanizes, and simply turns them into an object of circumstances.

That empathic capacity is very important. Well, with that we have exhausted, at least in our study, that first family that I call virtues and I have pointed out 8 different qualities within that.

I am going to move to another family now that it is the own domain family. This also includes some qualities but I put it under that category, that area of self-control and the first quality within that category of self-control is the ability to maintain convictions, to operate, to minister, to lead according to convictions and I add, it doesn't matter. the cost because operating in that modality of convictions and principles, is another word, has its cost, at least in the short term. In the long term it is always profitable, it is always the best option, but in the short term one often loses and one has to have the maturity and faith to no matter what the cost, one can say, no, I am going to keep it according to the principle and not according to what my lower self tells me.

So that ability to hold onto convictions, number one, comes from trusting in the power of principle over the long haul. Again, see there the expression is long-term. The leader is characterized, it is a very important thing, many of these qualities have to do with the ability to see things in the long term, not to shoot immediately because this gives me a quick result, but to look at it in the long term.

That ability to see things from a long distance, to always look where we want to go and to be patient with the trajectory and to know that many times the trajectory of life or of the spiritual journey is as important as the final result. That is a very important quality of a successful leader.

The fact that, for example, you come here on a winter night just starting the week, requires a long-term mentality. You have to believe that what you are doing now is going to pay off in the long run and that you are going to get the most out of this investment of time and energy. Because if you let yourself be carried away only by tiredness, cold, and darkness early in the day, you won't get to something like this. The leader is precisely the high-functioning people, let's put it that way, because that's what a leader is: a high-functioning person. Examine it and you will always see in them an ability to think long term and not seek immediate gratification. The more mature you are, the more you are able to see the long term.

Look at God, the highest functioning person I know. I don't know if there will be another, I think not. Look what the word says, it says that for God one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years like one day. How long has God since Adam and Eve fell in Eden waiting for the time for the total redemption of mankind? Thousands of years, because he thinks long term.

So, that quality, the person who has self-control, one of the most important things is that he trusts in the power of principles in the long term, he puts principles above everything else. That means that if there is a moral, ethical, biblical, or spiritual principle involved in a situation and respecting that principle means that I have to lose my best friend or go through a conflict with the group I lead, so be it , as they say in English, so be it, because the principle is more important than the person, or the moment.

And that ability to live according to principles is absolutely key in a leader, in a leader. That is, no, there is a moral principle involved here and no matter what happens I have to be faithful to that principle.

Now again, you have to be careful, again, because it's all a matter of balance and nuance. There will be times when mercy will triumph over judgment as the Bible says. There are times when the writer of Ecclesiastes says, better a living dog than a dead lion. Sometimes the wing will have to be sacrificed to eat the breast, they say over there. Sometimes you will have to postpone the fight and wait to fight on another day when you are in better condition.

I mean, notice what I'm saying, that's part of the nuance of a leader. Remember what I said last time that these principles are kind of in dialogue with each other, and sometimes one principle will kind of lead you to nuance the other and the other will nuance the other a little more, and the mature leader, the mature person and spiritual always has a repertoire of spiritual biblical principles and concepts that are his bag of behavior and from there he gets something here, another there.

Who was it that said, the Lord Jesus Christ, as it is like a person who has new things and old things in his bag? Something like that. And it is so, the spiritually mature person has a repertoire of moral principles and it is always as if he is processing them and when a situation arises, the computer says, ah, patience, excellence, empathic capacity, principles, mercy, and then he chooses all that and from there it takes, ….. here is the solution, this is what I have to do. And it will be a mixture of those different qualities working in dialogue with each other. That is why it is important to know these principles, to put them inside and learn to handle them like a painter, when he is going to do a painting, he has his watercolor, he has different colors: red, black, pure blue, green, orange, and then when he wants to produce a rare color takes a little of this, a little of the other, a little of that, ah, there is that color that is neither yellow, nor red, nor green, but it is a color among the three.

That's what I'm talking about here. That is to say, yes, we are not going to use this operation based on principles as a sword to cut off people's heads. I don't care what you think or who you are because the principle is more important, boom. No, you also have to qualify that with mercy, love, patience and prudence as well. But in a sense it is important to put principles above all else.

Another thing, that that person who has that conviction, who operates according to convictions, trusts himself and his perception of things. There has to be conviction. If you are a weathercock in the wind, as we say over there, or a leaf blown by the wind, as the Apostle Santiago says, as they say over there, where is Vicente going? Where do the people go? And then you leave with any wave, any opinion, where the culture is, there you go. No, the leader is characterized by being a person who believes something and after analyzing things and even analyzing opposing opinions and giving them the opportunity to express themselves fairly, he adopts his position and as Martin Luther said when they examined him wanting him to change his confession in the 16th century and said, I can't do anything else, this is what I believe and God have mercy on me, so he told the court that very distinguished people were gathered and he knew that he was possibly going to lose his life . But he said, I can't do anything else, what I have confessed, what I have said, that is what I believe and there is God then, if I perish, may I perish as Esther said.

That ability to believe in yourself is important too. At the same time that one is willing to listen to others, but there comes a time when one has to be a person of conviction. This is what I believe, this is what I think. I have analyzed it, I am open to correction and a new perspective on things, but for now this is what I believe and I am going to throw myself out there in the name of the Lord and God have mercy on me. If I have made a mistake, then, he will have to teach me, but I am operating according to my conscience.

He's willing to pay the price, number 3, he's willing to pay the price. There is a price for living at that moral level, definitely. That price will sometimes be loneliness, opposition from others, attacks and criticism, breakups of dear relationships, and sometimes cooling off of friendships or even close loved ones. But eventually one says, you know what? If I have been correct in my perception and I am correct, and God is with me, I am going to pay the price and the Lord will bring me forward. And you know what? the person who operates in this way is always blessed and that is what a leader truly is.

The world needs people who live what they believe. That is why Martin Luther in the 16th century is called the father of the Reformation, his position as a simple monk, in a sense, changed the history of humanity.

Martin Luther King Jr. Here in the United States, his firm, clear position, at the risk of his life. Look how he paid with his life. Martin Luther in the 16th century was also a prisoner, he had to escape for his life and hide for a few months in a castle belonging to a nobleman who took him in to protect him.

There is definitely a price to pay, but that is the person who stands out in life, that is the person who inspires others, that is the person that others ultimately come to for advice and who serves as a starting point. of reference for many people and that in moments of nebulosity and indefinition in a culture, when there are moral principles at risk, these are the people who prop up a society and keep it from going down the cliff.

But it has its price, without a doubt. I mean, I put an illustration here: when our church 15 years ago or so God led it to move from being a traditional Baptist church to get into the move of the Holy Spirit and change their style of worship, their style of government, the leaders that we put in positions of influence, the nature of our services, including other things in that direction, our church entered a strong turbulence, thank God, nobody drew knives or shots or anything like that, but it did break out in a church that was very harmonious, for a time there was a fairly high level of tension.

By the way, this turbulent process resulted in a church that is still in existence here in the city of Boston because a group of brothers, thanks to the Lord, through a process that I myself facilitated so that it was peaceful, preventively, left Central Baptist Church, that's what it was called at the time. That was in the year 1993 more or less. An elderly sister who loved me dearly and with whom I formed a very beautiful friendship and who had told me for a long time that she wanted me to celebrate her funeral when she died, and that we were a mutual admiration society, she and I, when this happened, she cut off her friendship with me because she thought and felt that I had stolen the church from her and that I had imposed myself in my new conviction to open up more to the Holy Spirit and all this, I had imposed myself on the congregation and that I had led the church the way I wanted to take her.

I lost friends who were never the same again, several very dear friends, colleagues of mine who disagreed seeing things from the outside in how I handled the situation. And I had to ask myself if, hey, I leave things as they are, follow the church in the same way it was or obey what I feel is the voice of God, leading our church to a greater openness to the gifts Holy Spirit? I wasn't looking to turn us into some angry Pentecostal church or anything like that. Simply open up a little more to the movement of the spirit and follow that process that I felt that God was leading my life, leading our congregation.

But it was a time of great spiritual distress for me, to see my church turn into a troubled community, when until then it had been an eminently healthy and harmonious church. Losing people I loved, worrying about my reputation in the ministry community out there, who knew what was going on. All of these things almost force me, or push me to say, no, hey, this is very troublesome and who knows if anything will come of it, let's just stay where we are. But you know what? when that was given and that separation was given, the blessing of God came pouring down upon the life of the church.

From there the call to come to Boston was born. Yes, that community of brothers that now many of them are here with us, and thanks to the Lord, God healed many of the wounds between us and there has been a lot of reconciliation and God, like Job, gave me back a lot of what I had lost. He did not return my beloved sister to me, that old woman because she died on me in the process, I was even able to go to her funeral and say a few words there.

But what I want to tell you is that after that, look, a year later I facilitated an outing, I invited the brothers, I facilitated the planting of that church, I called the pastor who founded our congregation. Again, therein lies the question of integrity.

If you do something with integrity, don't worry. I thought I was going to leave, many of the church tithers left, the church musicians left, a number of key people from the congregation left. You know what? At the end of the year we had the same number of people that we had at the beginning of the year, financially the church did not suffer a big setback, new leaders began to come. Excellent musicians came, the beginning of what is today a fairly high-end music program here in León de Judá began at that time. And the vision was born to come to the city of Boston that could not have been done with that group of brothers, I say this with all due respect, whose vision was a more middle-class vision, coming to Boston to what was a neighborhood full of crime and vacant lots and notorious people, coming all the way from Cambridge, where we had space; Many of you may not know where our church was, a beautiful building in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Cambridge port, near the Charles River, and coming from there to what was this little hell here in Boston at the time.

Now look at how God has blessed this community and how God changed the vision of the Lion of Judah. Even our name changed us, our spiritual identity changed. It facilitated everything we have seen in this time, our church has quadrupled or more, or quintupled in attendance and so many other things, financially, ministerially. But a price had to be paid.

I assure you that those months were very difficult months for me and my family and many other people in the church. Much was lost but there was a principle involved, we obey what God is telling us or we give in to feelings and fears and loss.

And then I see that, that you generally lose in the short term when you do not live according to principles, but in the long term you always win if you are doing the will of the Lord. So that area is very important.

I add another thing here is that the person who operates according to convictions does not look for shortcuts or easy solutions. I'm not going to elaborate on that because there's a lot in there. Pay the cost that must be paid. 3) does not yield to internal or external pressure. This kind of attitude requires faith that principles work, spiritual principles work, if you apply them no matter what, hold on tight, put on your seatbelt, and when the plane is going through turbulence and it looks like it's going to break in twenty say a thousand pieces, the principle says that it's okay, that this is going to work and that I'm going to get ahead. Hold on tight and even if your emotions are screaming at you, jump as soon as possible, jump out of the parachute, stand up or go in another direction, hold on, God will move you forward.

Another thing, with time it is seen that it works to operate and live in this modality. And then the next time it becomes a little easier, because you already saw what happened before and now this time it is easier and then you saw what happened the last two times, the third time is easier. The fourth time, you saw what happened three times and it becomes easier, until there comes a time when you learn to live according to principles and convictions, because you realize that it works. Always that process: you pay the price in the short term, you lose some things, but in the long term you win with dividends.

Let me tell you, if there is one important principle for a leader, a mature leader, it is the ability to think long term.

And I also say here that it requires trust in oneself and in God. Another thing, in fact, is not allowed to be dominated by emotions, fears, wounds or appetites, the 4 enemies of women, the mature man.

Emotions, fears, wounds or appetites. I would add yet another one, the complexes, the inferiority complexes and other types of complexes that also afflict us in this sense, phobias and all this type of thing.

All of that in regards to operating under convictions. We are under the family's own domain. I'm moving forward and I'm not giving a lot of time because I want to finish at 9 o'clock and I want to cover as much material as possible.

Within that family of self-control, a second quality is that the person who has self-control, the mature leader, with respect to self-control, is careful in speaking and here are some thoughts associated with that idea: do not exaggerate, your statements They are accurate and reliable. This is, brothers, of another quality that I pointed out previously, sobriety.

Many leaders discredit themselves because they always use what I call evangelistic numbers. It has already been lost, for example, when a pastor says, my congregation, how many members does it have? Oh, 1600, and one says, discount 80%. We the pastors, you know, a cat moved and that one is also a member so we put it there in the count. The baby that is still in the mother's womb is also a member and we count it once, with the mother there are two there.

So I believe that the person who is a mature leader in that sense learns from his words, the Bible says that his yes is yes, and that his no is no. The idea of, look, better speak below reality instead of above it. Characterize yourself by saying less than more.

For example, they ask me how many people come to your…. Look, such a number come on Sundays, because I don't even tell you I have so many people, I say, for me the ones I have are those who arrived last Sunday and I say, and children like that, and I always try to maintain, or to qualify and To say things in a way of saying, look, on Sundays we have approximately 800 or so people but we think that there are about 1,200, 1,500 people who associate with León de Judá and that is their church and they consider it their congregation. When there is a need, when they are going to a resurrection Sunday or when they have a death in their family, a crisis, León de Judá is their church. And that is what I measure, because today we say member. There are churches that say, we have 3000 members but go see how many attend on Sunday.

But I think that is only one area, I use one area, a specific illustration but it can be many things where one has to learn, brothers, to be restrained in speaking, not to exaggerate too much, not to be embellishing as they say in English, embellishing, decorating things. One has to be clear, if this happened, it happened; if it didn't happen, it didn't happen and if it happened it was in this way and in the other and it wasn't like that, it was like that. You have to add nuances in life, that quality of not exaggerating, speaking soberly about things is very important. You don't have that need to impress people, but you let the facts speak for themselves, our records, and our actions cumulatively establish our image. We don't have to exaggerate telling people I am this, I do that, I had this, I went there, I come from that place. Be sober, be restrained in speaking.

Your yes is yes, your no is no, 4) speak accurately avoiding ambiguity, that is very important. There are people that I call, whose words are like nebulae, it's like the focus of a projection, they are a little foggy, their words are like blurred. You don't know sometimes if they are telling you that they are black or brown because they never speak straight to you and sometimes you don't know whether to trust their words or not completely. And I believe that the leader of God has to be characterized because they are words that are crisp, that they are well defined, that they are in tune, measured 7 times, as they say, rocked 7 times and that each word counts.

I like people that I can go to the bank with their words. How good it is when a leader speaks to a congregation and tells them things clearly, look brother, this is so, so and so. People then know how to gauge what the person is saying. And that is why one of the things that a leader has most value is his words.

One has to make sure that the words count because a leader people are going to die or not, for a leader depending on his confidence in what he is saying. And if that leader has been characterized, or that leader, by a record of telling the truth, of saying things clearly, of speaking things with definition, that will give a lot of attraction to his words, to what he asks for. When there are moments of crisis, people are going to be willing to give them a second chance or to go after them even though there is a danger of disaster, because they think, look, this person has told me, and up to now he has never lied to me, he has never exaggerated, He has always said things the best he could and that is great. But when you lose that capital it becomes very difficult to influence people, especially when things are cloudy and when everything is not certain.

That's why you have to speak with the long term in mind because people are going to build an image of you and your words over the years, and they're going to treat you based on that quality. Perhaps they love you and believe that you are a great leader, but they say, but I am not going to sacrifice my savings, or my life, or whatever, or my spiritual health because this brother, unfortunately in that area, limps a little.

¿: …………Central American especially, always going off on a tangent, they go off on a tangent, they cover everything…. Everything to get to...

Certainly

¿: then, not necessarily, …….. but it

It's true, sometimes it's cultural, sometimes I think that comes from Asians. In Asia, like Central American culture, it also has that Asian dimension, it comes to us through our racial heritage. The Asian is like that, he is very careful, very cautious in what he says, very courteous and very indirect in things. It's not that it's malicious, sometimes more like it's considerate. They don't say no, but they tell you, well, let's see what happened and I'll call you later and they're already telling you, you already know where it's going.

But, it's true, that's part of it, that's why we have to overcome it. The Caribbean goes to the other extreme, the Caribbean sometimes says things to the letter and leaves you there upside down, bleeding and has no nuances. It's the other end of the thing.

So, I think that's why we, as mature people, have to go beyond our culture, that's where the principle comes from, live according to convictions and principles. We have to overcome and transcend our culture, our family past, and our tendencies of character or temperament and say, no, look in this case I have to tell this person, I can't or I won't be able to make it or I don't have the money , instead of saying, I'm going to see and I'll call you in three days and then you don't call him in those 3 days because you expect your silence to do the talking.

Again, that's where one, out of principle, says, you know what? No, I have to say what I have to say. I have to talk to this person and tell him what I feel and do it in a correct way, think it through. And although inside you feel like a parakeet, as we say in the Caribbean, you feel like you don't want to say what you have to say, but you say it because it's the right thing to do and it's what you have to do. In other words, one goes beyond precisely this thing about appetites, fears, wounds, complexes, culture, temperament, family background, and one says what needs to be said in a concrete, clear, precise way because it is the right thing to do. One speaks then in that way. It's very important. One speaks with precision, avoiding ambiguity, lack of definition, double meaning.

The fifth thing here, we do not manipulate with words. Words are precious, words are noble, they are sublime, they are not made to manipulate people, they are not made to make them do what you want them to do or trick and blind them into going where you want them to go. No, words are a very beautiful weapon that must be used in a very, very measured way and with a great sense of responsibility. That is important.

I add other things, being careful in speaking is the brother of sobriety, remember that these things qualify each other. Sobriety has something to do with it.

Resist the pressure to impress or dazzle. He knows that many times it's like people who don't have command of words like to speak highly of others. That man is the most admirable person that has been known in the entire history of humanity; or that person is a spiritual man like no other, he spends 17 hours a day in prayer. And it's like the person wants to provoke a reaction of astonishment, of impression in others, and so they are speaking in that way as if to impress, to produce an effect. And one has to speak clearly. You don't have to be impressing people, you don't have to be dazzling others with your report of what happened.

Oh, that cult was a thing that angels literally lowered, the feathers could be seen in the air. No, you don't have to say that much, say, the Lord manifested himself, a precious time, there was a beautiful time of prayer, there was a very beautiful presence of the Lord, and we felt that God spoke to us. But not that the Holy Spirit spoke in an audible voice and things like that.

There are people who say, I had a vision, when you come to see what you had it was a dream, a vision for me is like Juan or something like that, a vision. So you have to talk, you have to say things. Oh, this person, how many times, was a man healed that I don't know how many. The next day you see Mr. East still with the cane. That has happened. I say, look, it's not that I have little faith, but let me wait and see what happens. God has no problem with that and sometimes, because of our desire to please God or to dazzle others, or to do the Lord a favor, what we do is discredit the Gospel. Better speak with what you have the capacity and right.

For the leader the most important truth, or the truth is more important than impressing or obtaining the desired result, speaking the truth is more important. Even if you don't get the result of admiration that you wanted or respect or amazement. No, the truth is more important, say what happened, say what you have, say what you are and even underreport reality. That people discover that there is more to you than what seemed like a lot, instead of you creating the impression that you are the last Coca Cola in the desert and then they discover that no, as they said to Pablo, your letters are incredible, impressive but their presence is not so impressive.

I think it's better, as the Lord Jesus Christ says, that people tell you to come up here, for you to come up here then they tell you, you know what? You have to go down because there is another person that we need there in that position. I believe that one should always under-report and under-impress and that over time one sees what is there, instead of the reverse, which is what often happens.

So, it is important that a negative or positive image of the leader is created over time, depending on whether that person speaks or uses the words.

Another thing, the credibility of the leader is essential because it indicates whether they can expect reliable judgments from him or her or not. I repeat that, the leader's credibility is essential as it indicates whether you can expect trustworthy judgments from him or her or not. In other words, what happens when there is a crisis situation, for example, this financial situation, etc. We are now living in the United States. You need leaders who tell you the truth, so you know how to move. If one is sure of their leaders, if they are going to tell us the truth or not, or what advice is going to come out of their mouths, if they are going to be trustworthy or not, and part of it will depend on how that person has behaved in the past. past and how sober and just his judgments have been in the past, and how prudently he has used words in the past.

I am saying something else here, I am saying that speaking is like a currency, if it is very available and its value falls everywhere, what happens when the government throws away a lot of money, well, the value of the currency falls because it is everywhere parts. When the person talks too much and his words are lax and not precise, he already loses value, the person loses influence.

I believe that many times a leader's influence is in inverse proportion to the availability of his words and how many words he speaks. Now, be careful not to use silence to manipulate too, there are people who do that. But that is another dimension.

Continuing with this talk, I added some things, some comments that I had made, but in the other box I say that he does not commit himself beyond what he can. That goes with the speaking, I think I pointed out about that in the past, the words. Say no more than... and I sin of that continually. Many times I commit much more than I can deliver and then I'm breaking a sweat about it and apologizing to people. You have to know how to say what one can do and what one cannot do. Be firm on that, be clear.

Another thing, he is silent more than he speaks, even if it is a single passage in Proverbs 7:17 where he says... come let's get drunk until morning. I don't think there is necessarily much sobriety there. Let's go to Santiago which is safer, brothers, let's go to Santiago please. I don't know what happened there, I'll get back to you. 1:19, let's see if here, yes:

"... for this, my beloved brothers, every man is quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger..."

Okay? Quick to hear and slow to speak. I mean, that's the idea that it's important. And Proverbs says something similar, but we'll find out at some point. I know that now everyone is looking in blessed Proverbs, to see if they can find it, 17:7, it seems I had a dyslexic moment there, 17:7.

Omar, please, what does Proverbs 17:7 say?

Omar: “…taltiloquence is not convenient for the fool; how much less to the prince the lying lip. A precious stone is bribery for those who practice it, wherever they turn, they find prosperity..."

So there you have something to ponder.

Omar: ….

Yes, a little more aligned with what we are talking about. Ok, so number 8 says, in this matter of careful speaking, it depends on creating an image more with actions, again, blessed in the long term, here it comes out again, in the long term, than with words.

In other words, the leader, the mature leader, lets time create an image of himself instead of trying to rush and speed things up with words, saying what he is, what he has, what he knows, what what he did, what he received, where he was, how many achievements, how many giants he killed, etc.

Actions will speak, excellence is established sooner or later over time, so one has to be patient, let things fall into place. People are wiser than you think, and more observant than you think, both negatively and positively. And over time if there is something there, if the fig tree truly has fruit and not just leaves, people will discover it. Let the fruits manifest sooner or later, do not try to speed things up through words.

And also last I say that, with the care in speaking also this to take care of the gossip. A leader cannot be a gossip or gossip, he cannot be violating confidentiality, he cannot be sawing people's stick, he cannot be criticizing other leaders or other people because sooner or later he loses face, loses gravity, loses weight, lose influence.

All it takes is for one person to breach two or three confidences and it gets out in the community for a leader's effectiveness to be shut down. Or that people realize that that person is always talking about others or that they are criticizing, or violating confidences about something they know about the person. All this lowers the image of a leader. A leader has to take care, a leader has to take care of her image, not to manipulate, but because her image is very important to be able to exert the positive influence she needs to exert.

I'm going to accelerate here, then, another element, a third quality within self-control. I have spoken of the ability to maintain convictions. Number 2, I have said that you have to be careful when speaking and a third quality, within that, is that I place it within that family of self-control, it is this matter of lucidity of which I already spoke before in two ways .

Remember that the leader knows himself, knows his weaknesses, his past, his deformations, this has to do with lucidity. What is lucidity? Light. It is the capacity for one to see oneself objectively. It's like unfolding and looking from a corner of the room, as I said before, at himself while he speaks. The mind can do that. The mature person is a person who is able to see himself, he never loses that capacity and lucidity, he does not get so involved in what he is doing that he loses the ability to examine himself while doing it.

Do you know what I mean? The majority of human beings when they are doing something, they cannot multitask, cannot at the same time that they are doing see themselves doing something, one has to ask the Lord to help one cultivate that ability to never lose focus. lucidity. Some of us suffer from too much lucidity but we have to look for a bit of that, because it is important in leadership.

So, this here I set in this area. again, lucidity is also seeing the environment in which one is, examining the rest, while one is speaking, reserve a little energy to see the signals that are being emitted.

And here is a third manifestation of that dimension when I speak of lucidity that does not lose awareness of oneself, is what I say. One is always vigilant in what is happening, in one and around one.

Number 2, you can observe yourself while you act and analyze your interactions in the light of principles. In other words, if the conversation is getting very heated, and you're already losing patience and this, while you're saying things, you have to try to control yourself and say, wait, am I saying something that's wrong? that I am going to repent, I am already entering the zone where I will not be able to take back the words that I am saying, am I breaking a relationship, am I closing the doors, am I damaging the leadership, am I damaging the ministry?

That is to say, that capacity for even while you are doing things, you are thinking in principles, sobriety, patience, long-term vision, empathy with what they are telling me. That is something else, for example, if there are times when people are telling you something and you want to rip their head off for what they are saying, but you say, wait, let me think carefully, why is he saying this? I have to put myself in their position, how is it that they are seeing things, all this and that waters your soup a little so that you don't act in a way that is too crazy and that you don't say something that you will later regret. And you already said it and wow, now you have to pick up the rubble. No, that's part of it.

It can be observed as it acts and participates and analyze its interactions in the light of spiritual principles and principles of maturity.

And third, it restrains his character twists while participating. Here the key is this of character deformations because we all have character defects. Some of us do not like to be criticized, others are quick to speak, others have a bad temper and are given to anger, others are very lively in our reactions, there are many things, others have a wounded child within us that is easily offended . Ha, twenty thousand things that affect the way we act and how we handle conflict.

And one has to kind of know what those defects one has. Remember what I called, as I said, the resident demons or something like that. One has to know what those little devils are there, who have their place in our lives, with whom we always fight, and know how to handle them. We are not going to be able to get them out one hundred percent many times in our lives, because they are going to be there with us until we die unfortunately, that is true. But you have to know how to handle them and how to put them in the cage when they want to get out and keep it under control.

So, and for that there is a quality that we have already pointed out before, in the area of virtues, knowing oneself, knowing which foot one is limping on and what are the defects. If in your family situations were resolved by throwing dishes and holding each other's bows, that is what you are going to want to do in human relations as well, and in your leadership. You have to know your family past, how it affects you, how it predisposes you to react in a certain way in given situations and already take two aspirins right away when the time comes for you to want to do the same to hold yourself back. And when the situation is happening you have to be thinking about it.

This is part, I say here, of observing one's environment. And it is also part of knowing yourself, our insecurities and tendencies. I add here in my own notes, this is a very important skill, it is about the ability to unfold and detach from oneself, that is what I am talking about here. It's an almost schizophrenic-like capacity, one separates and divides and one can observe oneself while participating.

And finally I add, we cannot achieve this completely, no one will be able to be one hundred percent lucid and perfectly capable of seeing himself, but it can be improved a lot, it requires practice and an awareness that it is important to do so.

Ok wow, that's a lot left, so I'm going to be true to my purpose of finishing. I'm going to exercise self-control, lucidity, awareness of my environment, my tendency to talk too much, empathy as well, and a number of things there that we've already talked about, and I'm going to end here.