Meditation on family life (Ephesians 5:21)

The Lord put it on my heart, on the occasion of Father's Day, to bless our fathers and our mothers and our children who are also here, with a meditation on family life in general and with that thought in mind, let's search in Ephesians Chapter 5 beginning with verse 21:

The first one to put on this hat today will be me. I am going to preach this to myself and my family. We all, we all have a lot to learn and a lot to improve regarding our family life, and I pray that these are words of life and energy in us, and that you help us to put them into practice; May it give us energy to please the Lord in everything we do in our family life.

The word of the Lord says: “Submit yourselves to one another in the fear of God. Wives are subject to their own husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, which is his body and He is his savior. Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so also the married women are subject to their husbands in everything."

That's the first thought, the first section talking to the married. Now the word comes to the husbands, to the married.

Everyone say “Love” “Love”.

It says: “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to sanctify her, having purified her in the washing of water by the word in order to present her to himself, a church glorious that she had no spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that she was holy and without blemish. So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Because no one ever hated his own flesh but sustains and cares for it as Christ does the church. Because we are members of his body, of his flesh and his bones. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will be one flesh. Great is this mystery but I say this regarding Christ and the church. For the rest, each one of you also loves his wife as himself and the wife respects her husband.

That's the second section. He talks about the married, first he talked about the married and from 25 to 33 the married, the husbands and now also in Chapter 6, he talks to the children now.

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with a promise that things go well for you and that you have a long life on earth.”

That's the children. Now the natural thing is that parents are also spoken to. And in verse 4 he says:

"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord."

May the Lord bless his holy word.

There's a whole family recipe in there. If we, brothers, could internalize and integrate this solemn call of the Apostle Paul to our roles as fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, family life would be an idyll, it would be an Eden. The Lord wants us to be able to understand this and above all apply it to ourselves.

How difficult it is. How easy it sounds but how difficult it is in daily life to integrate these truths when things get hot at home, and we are tired and in a bad mood and something happens in the life of the family that blows our fuses and the poor Saint Paul went under and we forgot these healthy and simple tips. That is why it is important that every day we can return to meditate on the word of the Lord and we have to always remember it because we are slow to hear and easy to forget these advice from the Lord.

The first thing that is important to note about this passage is that it is given within the context of a series of advice regarding general life. All that chapter 5, verses from 1 to 20 has to do with sound and wise advice on family conduct, family life and also life in the church. And the Apostle Paul gives a series of family advice one after the other and then goes into this aspect with respect to family life specifically. But it's all part of a single thought.

And why? Because within the healthy spiritual life and the different habits and customs that we must practice is this very important part of how we should conduct ourselves with respect to family life, marriage, fatherhood or motherhood. And that is why the Apostle Paul enters into this. In fact, when in verse 20 it says: "... always giving thanks for everything to God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ", actually in verse 21 it sounds like a new sentence, a new phrase ".. submit to one another” but in the original Greek there is rather the idea of “submitting to one another” that is, there is a continuity in the mind of the Apostle Paul between what is before and what follows now.

Let's stop here for a moment because verse 21 is very important because it brings everything that follows together. It is how that sentence structures everything else and how the Apostle Paul organizes his thoughts later on. He says, "submit to one another." It is important that we never forget this aspect of family life because if you look closely, the Apostle Paul establishes a kind of hierarchy of authorities here. He says that the woman is subject to her husband and also with regard to children and parents, he suggests that children should be subject to parents. And so the trend was about 2000 years ago in a culture where men were prevalent and men had unquestioned authority and fathers also had unquestioned authority over their children. And no one questioned that. No one questioned the authority of the man over the woman or the father over the child.

Even later the Apostle speaks of the masters and the servants, the slaves. Nor was the authority of the owner, the master of the slaves, over the slaves questioned. And that is why it is so revolutionary that 2000 years ago, this man inspired by the Holy Spirit wrote saying: Yes, it is important that we recognize the authority schemes that prevail in society.

It is important that Christians submit to the Lord's commandments and the order that God has established in society, but it is important that we qualify that statement with an idea that is more important than all and that is that there must be mutual subjection from each other, where there should not be a dictatorship or an imposition of authority or an abuse of power or saying "that is my privilege, I am the head of the home" for example. Or the father say “I am your father and I have an unquestionable right over your life. I can do whatever I want and I don't have to answer to anyone in this house."

That is why the Apostle Paul says from the beginning "... submit to one another in the fear of God", that is, the use of authority in human life, in family life must always occur with that idea of that although God has given us some authority in certain areas of life, we should never abuse that authority. We must always use authority with respect, with love, with justice, with equity, with meekness, with humility, with love. The Christian uses authority in the spirit of God, in the spirit of Jesus Christ.

For me the absolute model will always be the Lord Jesus of how I should behave in any situation where the concept of authority comes into play. And that goes further. That refers to the teachers who are in this church and who have their students respect them, but also the teacher must make sure that he treats his students with respect. It refers to those who are supervisors in a factory or in an office in the same way. Those who are working with you must abide by your authority for the organization to function well, but you must never abuse your authority. You should always treat people under your authority with a lot of respect, with a lot of humility.

Do you know that humility does not exclude authority, brothers? What's more, many times authority is embellished by humility. And you will never lose anything by being accountable to the people over whom you have authority, and treating them gently and with care and with love. There will be times when a point will have to be made, and there will be conflicts and you will have to be firm about something, but that should be the exception and not the rule.

I believe that a person who is always forced to use force and point out his authority, to assert his authority, his leadership is suffering from some flaw. Because I believe that when leadership is adequate, things should flow naturally and conflict should be the exception and not the rule. Because the person who is in authority must rule things knowing that "Hey, I also have to give an account to the people over whom I have authority." That is why these meetings that we have on finances, there are pastors who do not agree with me, who are blessed, they do not believe that a pastor should not be giving an account to his church of how money is handled in the church. Because we are the shepherds, we are the leaders of God and we have the authority.

I believe that one should give an account to his people of how authority is handled in his church. Now, I believe that we pastors have a certain authority from God, but we also have to make sure that our people feel taken into account, feel respected, feel treated as adults and that there is sharing, and that there is a certainty that our needs are being taken into account our preferences. There must be channels of communication to find out what the church needs, what the people feel and all of this must be in order.

So I think that explains what the Apostle Paul says here before he starts talking in detail about different specific situations where authority comes into play, he says “...submit to one another in fear of God". In other words, always those who are in authority and those who are under authority, submit to each other. Whoever has a certain level of authority from God, also submit to those he or she directs.

"..in the fear of God" that is very important, that should be what our leadership always directs, that healthy fear of God, of not offending the Lord with mistreatment of others, of not offending the Lord with an abusive attitude, of not offending the Lord by being unfair, or being arbitrary or insulting in the way I handle my authority, but always with that sense of: “Lord, am I doing it right? Are you happy with my way of exercising my leadership ”. That's the idea.

I think that when there is that relationship that the one under authority is subject and the one over authority is also subject in the sense of "not ruling over" the person over whom you have authority, what happens then? There is blessing. Because he who is in authority is taking into account the needs of those he directs and those he directs are subjecting themselves to those who have authority over them.

Brothers, I believe that in no relationship is this double perspective more important than in marriage. Because in the 21st century, as a pastor, I hesitate before preaching that part that says "...wives are subject to their husbands" because I already see that I have to hide here behind the pulpit so they don't throw stones at me. Because I know that in the 21st century that is difficult for many sisters and many women who run corporations and are bosses in their factories and sometimes earn much more money than the man himself. They are more prepared and sometimes even wiser. As Avila says “Smile, Christ loves you”.

But it is difficult brothers, in this social context in which we live where any suggestion of authority from the man over the woman is received as when a colt gets a spur, they immediately jump. But it is the word of the Lord, and I cannot escape from the word of God. And thank God that I can still preach this in this church. There are contexts where I hesitate a lot before going through this passage quickly, because it is not received at all and it hurts. And I think it's important to understand this game that married women are subject to their husbands and husbands love their wives.

I would like to be able to preach that simultaneously to both parties so that it is well understood. Because this is like a Swiss watch in that one part is linked to the other. Each little piece depends on the other to be able to function well and when one piece is not working well the others stop and get tangled up and the problem arises, the mess. When the woman submits to the husband and the husband loves, loves, loves (that is a very strong word) as Christ loved the church, then I believe that there is a blessing there. And unfortunately when the man does not use his authority in a healthy, wise way, like that of Christ, then it makes it very difficult for the woman to accept that word of the Lord and submit to the leadership of her husband.

I just said the word leadership and that touches a point in my mind and that is that our relationship with our wives should never be one of lording it over. We are not masters of our wives, we are leaders and a leader is not superior. For example, as a pastor I am not superior to any of you. I am a child of God, in need of God's grace like each one of you, but I am your spiritual leader and our pastors are your spiritual leaders and in many of the ministries there are leaders such as today there is a group of hujieres that serve here in the church and there is a person who is the leader of that group. Now evidently those leaders are not inherently superior to those they lead. They have simply been put in a position so that there can be order in the functioning of that group, they have been put in a position of them calling the shots so to speak but they are not superior in any way.

So we as heads of a home are leaders but our wives are "joint heirs of the kingdom" says the word of the Lord. That is to say that they are of the same spiritual rank as us, they are of the same substance and before the Lord they have the same authority and the same access. They enjoy the same gifts and enjoy the same prerogatives before the Lord as we do. There is no questioning of that.

I thank the Lord because with the passing of the years when I preach on these topics, I have become more sensitive with the passage of time and growing old age, more meek, more careful, in qualifying the things I say well And to be clear, at no time am I saying that man, by the authority that God gives him, has the right to crash things in the house, or to break walls or come in with a crooked face and get angry and make life impossible for the whole family. Many of us do that, but know well that we have the Lord's judgment at that moment to do that and we have to get out of that confinement as soon as possible. We may fall into a moment of bad mood but we have to know that soon that little angel will come and stand here on our shoulders and say: “Hey, be careful, you are sinning. Get out of there as soon as you can”, and we then have to go out and apologize and make things right. Because the fact that we are in authority does not give us the right at any time to be arbitrary with our families.

But it is important that women recognize that mystery –I call it a mystery- that God has placed man as spiritual leader and executive in his house so that order may prevail. I believe that the Lord “wired” that is to say that he established this in the very structure of the psyche of humanity and of the family. The Lord declared it so. From Genesis to Revelation I don't find anything that contradicts this, both in the obvious texts, which say it as well as in the texts that suggest it. There is a whole Biblical system that suggests such a position of male leadership. And I tell you, for me it is a burden more than a privilege. I don't see that as something to boast about because when one is aware of the great responsibility that this implies, it becomes a very great weight, to handle that privilege that God has given us as Christ did.

I believe that if we men understood the great responsibility that being leaders of our homes implies, I believe that many of us would say: "No, thank you Lord, let her take it", because it is something very difficult to develop in a form suitable for the person who is fearful of God and who wants to do it as Christ did with his church.

It says “... wives are subject to their own husbands as to the Lord”. Clearer does not crow a rooster! The idea in the original Greek is like putting oneself under authority, that's why it is submitting, putting oneself under authority. And that is a call as a volunteer. In the original Greek the idea of "be subject" is implied as the form of the verb is neither passive nor active, it is the "middle verb" is not a command but "be subject" is a state. Even in the Spanish translation it captures it. They are subject, as a condition.

I would like to have a skirt to speak to the sisters because it would be more acceptable to you. I believe that there is a blessing in the mind, in the emotions and in the spirit of a woman, of a wife when she willingly submits to her husband as to the Lord, and the woman makes a decision to do so and takes that step in faith believing that the Lord will bless her. I believe that if a Christian woman resists that command of the Lord, she hurts herself and her family. Unfortunately, there are men who make it very difficult for our women to take that step.

As there are parents who make it very difficult for their children to hold on to them too. Because we make them suffer because we put them in a position that no son, or woman should be, of resisting the authority of her husband. I believe our goal should be, the goal of husbands should be to make it as easy as possible for our wives to submit to our spiritual leadership. That should be our goal.

I say that a man who earns his wife's respect and love is a giant and can lead a city, can rule a nation. The goal of every man should be to bring his wife to the point where she joyfully submits to his spiritual authority and his authority as head of the home. That should be our goal. I ask husbands here to ask ourselves that question: "Do I make it as easy as possible for my wife to conform to my leadership or do I make it difficult for her with my behavior?" and that we make a holy pact before God that our wives feel as joyful as possible in our leadership.

How do we feel about the leadership of Jesus Christ? I think all of us say “Glory to God, it's good that He is on top of me. How good that the Lord Jesus is my lord and my savior. Because? Because Christ never exploits, never abuses, never hurts, is never arbitrary, always just, always loving, always forgiving, always tolerant. He cares about us, he delegates authority to us, he lets us use our gifts, he embellishes our gifts. Who doesn't like that, as the Dominican merengue says. We should all be like this. If the husband discharges his authority in the same way, I believe that a healthy woman, a wise and God-fearing woman, will say "Well, I accept the leadership of that leader."

But unfortunately a lot of us don't. I am not saying this, brothers, so that no one leaves here feeling guilty, but rather this is a call from which we must all learn something from. This is the sound advice of the Lord. But unfortunately there are many women today who do not accept the leadership of their husband, no matter how benevolent and sometimes how blessed that marriage is and how much effort that man is putting in to earn his wife's respect. Because there is an idea like that is not possible.

There are brothers from this congregation and from other congregations who love God, who know the word, upright people who agree to eliminate what I think this verse clearly implies and says: "... married women subject to husband as to the Lord because the husband is the head of the wife. This word "head" has been tried to water down and dilute a lot through the Greek "kefale" but it is a very clear word. Head is head, no matter how many heads you look for the head, it is still a head. ... The husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church.” How is Christ head of the church? Well, he is the one who directs, he is the one who sets the tone, the one who is in front. Well, in the same way the man is the head of the woman.

How is the church subject to Christ? Well, the church is subject to Christ, acknowledging the authority of the Lord, acknowledging his directions, adhering to Him and his directives, even so the married women are to their husbands in everything. There are two verses that call women, that give advice to women, 23 and 24, but there are 25 to 32 for men, which is about 9. There are three times as many verses for men as for women. Why would that be? I think that because men are clumsier, tougher and we need to be told things more and I think that is what was in the mind of the Holy Spirit because this truth that was now following was so countercultural and so unexpected in that context. cultural in which the Apostle Paul wrote that it kind of needed further explanation, and needed more nuance.

That is why now the Apostle Paul says: ".... Husbands, love your wives" and that verb to love is the verb "agapate" which is where the word "agape" comes from, which is the most sublime that there is in the human race. In the original Greek, which is a very rich language, there are different words to refer to love: está eros, storge, filios. They are different types of love, the love of friendship, the love of brotherhood, the love of the son towards the mother, the love of the friend towards the friend, erotic, biological love. But there is a love that is reserved for that sublime feeling that is exemplified by the affection that God has for humanity. How does God love? The way God loves, a sublime, exemplary, divine way. The love that led him to sacrifice his son. The love that led him to forgive our sins. When we were mired in our sins Christ died for us. The love that leads him to forgive, to tolerate, to give himself.

That love that is very well developed in Chapter 13, of First Corinthians: "... if I speak human and angelic tongues and I do not have love, I become like resounding metal or a tinkling cymbal". That love is agape love, it is the love that we as husbands must express towards our wives. Husbands love, everyone say love, let us love our wives as Christ loved the church. In other words, love in that economy of marriage, the husband must love his wife with the same love with which Christ loves, the same love with which God loves. That is our goal. I certainly will never be able to love my wife as Christ loved the church but I must aim for it, I have to do everything possible. That should be my goal, that should be my mission, that should be my deal as much as possible. Husband that you are here, listen to me. The word of the Lord calls you to love your wife in a very deliberate way. That is, it is an active verb. Loving is not just a feeling, a warmth. It is a conduct. It is an act of the will, it is a life program, it is a vision that has to govern all your actions on a daily basis.

You must actively love your wife with the love of God. And in that love there is no room for selfishness, there is no room for arbitrariness, there is no room for emotional abuse and certainly not for physical abuse. That shouldn't even be mentioned between us. There is no room for you to arrogate the right of all authority and not share with your children and your wife. There is no place for exploitation, there is no place for lies, there is no place for anything that is harmful and destructive. It must be a pure love, that's why he says: "... love your wives" but he was not content with that but said "... as Christ loved the church", so that there would be no escape. How did Christ love the church? Well, he himself says it here "... who gave himself up for her", that is, until death. "...gave himself up for her" Christ so loved the church that he died for it.

Husband, husband, are we loving our women in such a sacrificial way? Do we take advantage of the authority that God has given us to express the leadership of Jesus in our homes? I wish the Lord would allow us to exercise a leadership in our homes that was like that of Christ towards our wives, towards our children.

How the Lord expressed his leadership. He was a servant leader. Do you remember where that expression "servant leader" comes from, because on one occasion the Lord said: "... you call me Lord and say well because I am" and then he asked one of his disciples for a basin, a towel and water and told his disciples "take off all your sandals" and for now those feet that smelled I'm sure, not lily, the Lord began to wash and clean them. Imagine those sandals and those dusty feet from walking those roads in the Middle East, and the Lord was not afraid to take those sweaty and smelly feet and proceed to wash them, He, the creator of the entire universe. And that scene was so scandalous for the Apostle Peter that he said: "Lord, no, I cannot allow something so scandalous" and the Lord said: "Peter, if I don't do it, you won't be part of my family."

The Lord wanted to leave an image there embodied for all humanity that leaders must use our authority to serve those over whom our authority is, not to lord it over them. In our countries the leaders serve the people but in the kingdom of God the leaders serve the people. We should try to serve our loved ones around us as much as possible.

Brothers, let us be servants. There is no way to be happier in life, men and women, than to serve. Serve, serve! Forget yourself. Serve those around you. Give generously. Detach, detach yourself and you will see how happy you are going to be in this life. You will see how you will become an emotionally healthy person and a blessing to others. People are going to want to invite you to dinner at their house and they are going to want you to go to their parties, because you are going to be a healthy, emotionally pleasing person. The person who is always exploiting, manipulating, serving himself with a secret agenda, hiding, lying, seeking his own self is going to lose what he is looking for. The Lord said, "Whoever loses his life will gain it, and whoever wins his life will lose it."

When you lose your life and dedicate yourself to serving your wife and loving her, the food will turn out even better. She is going to cook better for you, she is going to bless you more and she is going to love you more and as you serve her, she is going to be an ideal wife for you. The one who wins is you, that is why the Apostle Paul also says here "...because no one ever hated his own flesh but rather sustains and cares for it as Christ does the church". Why do you say that? Because if man and woman are one flesh as the Bible says, when you abuse your wife, you are abusing yourself. It is a mathematical equation. If A is equal to B and B is equal to C, A is equal to C. If the two of us are one, by abusing my wife because of the mystery of the marriage unit, I am abusing myself. When you don't treat your wife to the best of your ability, you are hurting yourself.

That's true, brother. The leader who abuses the people under his leadership does psychological damage to himself. The man who abuses his wife, his children, lives with a guilty conscience, has God's judgment on him, the people who are supposed to love him and serve him are not going to do it with pleasure and he is going to be a human being. inferior and will be under sin. Who wants that state?

Brothers, let us love as Christ loved the church. So if the wife submits to her husband and the husband loves his wife, there is a great blessing in life. How about we just stop here a little bit and put our heads down, and to anyone who fits this in any future or present measure, I want us to make a pact right now. I want my leadership and my position as a wife, I want a marriage blessed in this way, I regret anything I have done to abuse my wife in any way. And wife, ask the Lord to give you the ability to be a wife subject to your husband and that this mechanism can work perfectly. Meek, humble, spiritually healthy men and also simple-hearted women, subject to their husbands. What a bless! That is what we want for our homes.

May the Lord make that possible today. Father, these words we receive in the name of Jesus. I receive it in the name of Christ. Help us to have marriages, Father, that exemplify this truth. Father, forgive us when we have not lived up to that commandment. Lord please help us. Amen.

Brothers, I have a couple of minutes left. You don't want to fail by not touching your children. But this is so important, it's so close to my heart as a parent too. I want to address each male and female young person who is here today. Youth in general, I want to address you for a moment, children as well, adolescents who are here. Please listen to this word of the Lord because it is for you. The Lord has spoken to us fathers or rather to husbands and to wives and now he speaks to children as well.

It says: “…children, obey your parents in the Lord because this is just. Honor your father and your mother, it is the first commandment with a promise that things go well for you and that you have a long life on earth”

“... children, obey in the Lord to your parents because this is just. Honor your father and your mother which is the first commandment that has a promise in it, in order that it might go well for you and that you might live a long life”

I wish I had more time to unpack that young children and I believe that not only young people but that it is up to all of us. Here the key word is honor.

The key word here is honor. It's another one of those verbs. Just as for men it says love, the key verb for children is “honor your father and your mother”, honor your parents.

Honor, he says, your father and your mother. If each of us as children honored our parents, I still have to ask myself that with my 88-year-old mother, every day. Am I honoring my mother?

Am I honoring my mother? That's the question I have to ask myself as a son. Do I honor her? What does honor mean? It's not kind of a passive affection that you cannot tolerate your parents and you treat them with basic respect. No, it's more than that.

Honoring isn't just tolerating my father and grudgingly holding me there. No, to honor means, to prefer, with request

To honor means to prefer, to treat them with special care, with special respect, with great diligence. To show affection and love and respect. That's what honor means.

Honoring our parents means showing them a special preference, loving them in a reverential way, showing reverence.

To show reverence to our parents.

That our parents feel happy to have us as children. You know what is one of the curses of our young generation nowadays is that they have lost the honor of their parents.

One of the greatest sins of the young generation of our time is that many have lost that sense of reverence. We have lost that, with the culture we lost the reverence that we should have, the honor that we should have for our fathers and our mothers.

For many children it's like I have the right, you have to support me. These days, many children expect their parents to have a duty and it is their legal obligation, but how good it is when there is a grateful son whose purpose is to bless his father and mother, make it easy for him to deal with and discipline.

When a father asks his son: "Look, can you do me a favor by looking for this for his mom, to do something, and instead of going reluctantly and with all your face broken to find it for her, say "No Of course I do, mom. Of course I do, dad." When you have to give a chair to the father or mother, honor him in front of other people.

That's what we're talking about, being so diligent and showing love towards your parents and making it easy for them to be your father or your mother, to prefer them above all things, not do anything to grieve their heart, to love them actively and obey them gladly.

The Apostle Paul says that it is the first commandment with a promise.

It's the first commandment that has a promise attached to it. In other words when God said “Honor your father and your mother”, he also said “in order that it will go well to you”. There's a promise there.

When a son honors his father and mother, there is a blessing that will follow that son. I believe that there are many people today, in their adult lives, who are not enjoying their lives as they should, because there is condemnation upon them. They have not honored their father and mother, they have not treated them well. When a son understands that mandate of the Lord, that he must honor his father and mother and sees it as something sacred, God blesses that son and prospers him in his future. There is a blessing that is upon him.

Now when a son does not honor his father and mother, when he makes life difficult for him, the Lord judges that son or that daughter. Are you honoring?

Are you honoring your father and your mother? Are you making it easy for them to be your father and your mother, are you grieving their heart. It's very important that we ask ourselves that question.

It is important to give preference, the care they need. Of course, for parents there is also this idea: "let's not abuse our children, let's not be arbitrary with them, let's not oppress them, let's not hurt them, let's not put ourselves on top of them and make life impossible for them because that's not from God." neither." Let's do it with healthy fear and love of the Lord.

What do you think? Women who submit to their husbands, husbands who affectionately love their wives, fathers who care for their children and treat them well, and children who actively honor their fathers and mothers. Doesn't it seem like a recipe for blessing, and for joy and for harmony in the home?

Glory to God, may the Lord so be it. That this morning we can try to incorporate these very difficult truths because it requires us to die to self and to die to our hidden agendas. Let us die to our personal agendas so that the glory of God is established and that the Lord then takes charge of distributing his blessing as He wants and not as we want, looking for our advantages many times.

Praise the Lord. Do we receive this teaching, brothers? Receive it in your heart. Thank you. Thank you Jesus. Thank my Lord.