God Bless Responsible Parenthood

Let's talk about parenting based on divine principles and the word of God. Paternity as a whole, not only referring to the father, but also to the mother, as when we say: -my parents gave me a good education- and here it refers to the father and the mother. Postmodernity has led us down dark paths when it comes to governance and parenting and the diverse styles of parenting that still prevail are varied. Unfortunately, negative parenting styles are still the majority. That is the importance of knowing what we are doing with our children as Christian parents.

It's easy to talk about values; It is difficult to establish them so that the children grow up in integrity and with healthy motivations for life. We arrive at parenthood carrying a bundle of vital dysfunctions that have shaped our character throughout our lives; childhood wounds produced by the low acceptance of a negligent and indifferent father or mother, hidden grudges towards the father figure for a serious injustice committed in our adolescence, unresolved conflicts with an excessively controlling and little affective mother. And so we also come to the feet of Christ and the conflicts begin between the flesh that wants to do the opposite of God's will and the Spirit that begins to do its work of inner healing and to restore all that is damaged.

Responsible parenthood fights to the point of instilling eternal values in children, motivation to do good with a compassionate and pious approach; trust in God to feel safe in life; integrity to act with rectitude and transparency; Respect for authority because all authority comes from above and ultimately, love for God and others.

These values can only be instilled when we have given our children a correct acceptance, correcting and disciplining them when necessary and we have also given them responsibilities to fulfill without being tolerant, permissive, negligent and controlling.

There is negligent parenting; It is the father (or mother) who is physically, but is not there and therefore does not intend the responsibility of the children, they abandon their responsibilities or delegate them to others. This parenting creates insecure children who think they are worthless and unimportant to others. A biblical example is Lot: “Look, I have two daughters who have never known a boy. Let me take you out and do with it as you see fit. But don't do anything to these men, they have taken cover under my roof. " (Gen 19.8). No comment.

There is a permissive fatherhood, which does not correct the children or exercise authority and direction and therefore the children are highly disobedient and rebellious. The classic example is the priest Eli, his sons were desecrating the temple and he knew it, but he never caught their attention. Consequences? The Lord told Samuel about Eli: “I already told you that because of the wickedness of your children I have condemned your family forever; he knew they were blaspheming God and yet he did not restrain them ”(1 Samuel 3:13).

Controlling parenthood? It is also a style; the worst. They criticize everything, they are overprotective, manipulative and above all, they demand too much of their children, they ridicule them and make them feel guilty for all their actions. Controlling parents tell their children "you are not qualified to do this or that", they do not provide love and acceptance and they sow fear and insecurity in their hearts. A biblical example of a controlling parent? Saul: “Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said to him: 'You son of a wicked and rebellious one! Don't I know that you prefer the son of Jesse, to your own shame… "(1 Samuel 20:30) Later Saul's anger against his son prompted him to throw a spear at him to kill him (Vers. 33)

The children who are victims of a controlling parenthood are those who say: - why do things well if they are going to criticize me anyway; it is better to hide my thoughts because I will never be forgiven and there is no way to please my parents; I am a failure and in this house I have no place. The Word says: "Parents, do not exasperate your children, lest they become discouraged" (Col 3.21).

Finally, there is affective parenting that provides adequate acceptance in which children feel important, prepared to assume any responsibility in life, because parents have taught them to be responsible and have been an example and witness to them. Abraham is an example of an affectionate father: “And I have chosen him to instruct his children and his house after him to keep the way of the Lord, doing justice and judgment, so that the Lord may fulfill in Abraham everything that He has said about him. " (Gen 18.19)

Do we want the best for our children? Let us first give them acceptance and affirmation by reminding them that God loves them and accepts them too, loving them and letting them know that they are important to us and more to God, let us listen to them, affirm them with beautiful and positive words that give them confidence and security. This will make them assume responsibilities so that one day they feel empowered to exercise authority over their own families with love, according to God's precepts. God blesses responsible parenthood.

May the Lord bless your Word!