Don't be overwhelmed by guilt

I would say that the society we live in is one of the most demanding societies that has existed in the entire history of humanity, because it is the most critically, technologically, rationally, scientifically developed society of all time. The generation we live in today has an ability to judge things and coolly dissect them on a table, with a perfectly penetrating fluorescent light, and see everything with tremendous lucidity and clarity. Everything that focuses you can see perfectly well in its deformations, imperfections and defects.

Modern society specializes in dethroning heroes, finding hidden hypocrisy in institutions, reducing legends to human size, pointing out the defects of the Church, and showing with perfect clarity the clay feet of spiritual and political leaders.

But it is also one of the most hypocritical and disgusting societies that I have ever seen.

It is a true paradox: It is a tremendously demanding society, which prides itself on being liberal and tolerant. Yet it is one of the most self-righteous and intolerant societies of human imperfection that I have ever observed. Very demanding, but also full of terrible flaws and inconsistencies. Tolerates and promotes homosexuality, abortion, and gay marriage, but looks down on adultery, polygamy, and incest. It celebrates "responsible sex" and sexual experimentation among young people, but laments youth promiscuity and school dropouts. You can spend millions of dollars to save a dolphin or a whale, but dispose of an embryo like a sack of garbage. It is a rare paradox!

Modern man has reached a level of competence and ability in so many things that it is difficult not to feel inadequate and incompetent. Today we have incredible pressure to be perfect, or at least highly developed. We have to perform everything we do perfectly. If not, we feel guilty and deficient. And many people around us take it upon themselves to reinforce this sense of incompetence. There is a lot of demand in modern society, but little generosity.

Unfortunately, many young people of this generation often inherit many of the inconsistencies of the society in which they have grown up. They inherit that same critical and demanding tendency, that sense that everything is owed to them and that they deserve it all. But frequently, they do not assume a sense of service; to give to others, to be grateful and to honor those who serve them. They criticize their elders ruthlessly. They question and resent all kinds of authority, including that of their parents. They see the serious defects in their parents, but they do not celebrate and appreciate their sacrifices, their care, their love for them.

Many parents internalize this emotional blackmailing, and they focus so much on the mistakes made and the imperfections of their parenthood or motherhood, that they do not see the merit and beauty of their sacrifices and efforts, even if they are imperfect. This causes many parents to live in a constant state of guilt, condemning themselves. This even leads them to be too permissive with their children. Guilt robs them of authority. It takes away the confidence they require to intervene effectively in the lives of their children, to give them the advice they confront, the correction that stops the deterioration, the refusal that prevents them from going down the path of error and self-destruction.

The Lord tells us: “Do not live in guilt. I know your flaws. I know what it is to be a father, and to be criticized by my children. I know how difficult it is to discipline a rebellious generation, and to be rejected when I try to straighten out their path. I also suffer when my discipline is interpreted as cruelty and misunderstanding. Keep going. I am the compassionate God. As a father pities his children, I pity those who fear me. Do the best you can, and sleep soundly. At the end of the day, I'll make sure to make up for your mistakes. Just entrust yourself to me and seek my wisdom. When you err, admit your mistakes. But don't get caught up in guilt and self-condemnation. "

God wants you to enjoy your parenthood. Don't let doubt or self-condemnation rob you of the joy of being a parent. Move under the grace of your heavenly Father, and enjoy the privilege of accompanying Him in the difficult task of parenthood!